I seemed to have awoken
for no reason. It was pitch black in the room. There was no sound except the
roar of blood pulsing through my brain. I strained to hear a muffled sound,
as if through a wall, sounding like a voice recording played backwards. I turned
my head this way and that to locate the source of the sound. I raised my eyebrows
as if to hear better and it was then that I realized I couldn't see. I blinked
my eyes to make sure they were open. I blinked hard and then tested my eye muscles,
looking hard left then hard right. Nothing. I was either blind or I was in a
very dark room.
Deafness and blindness were driven aside by panicky questions of : Where am
I? When am I? What am I doing here? When the question of my sanity came around
I had to hit the reset button. Think backward. Had I just awoken in a strange
place? Don't know where I am. Can't see. I'm lying down. I think it's a bed.
Could've been sleeping. Don't remember. Maybe I'm ill and having fever dreams.
Don't feel sick. Maybe I'm still asleep and I'm dreaming. What would happen
if I went to sleep in a dream? Could I go to sleep in a dream? I can't sleep,
my nerves are tingling in my fingers and I have a slight nauseous feeling in
my stomach.
I can't find the light. I can't find anything. I feel around under the covers
on both sides of me. Nothing. I can't move my hands very far. I can't move from
this spot. I can't get up. I don't know why. My body won't respond. I can move
my head. I can move my toes and fingers but I can't get up.
That muffled sound again. Was it voices? Was it inside or outside my head? I
couldn't tell for sure. I pinched myself. No, I wasn't dreaming, if the sensation
of pain is any indication. My eyes are open. I can touch my face. Nothing clogging
my ears. That sound again. No, not voices, a voice, low and garbled. I put my
fingers in my ears. Yes, the sound was coming from outside my head.
I pulled my fingers out of my ears. I thought about checking the size of the
room by making some kind of sound. Then I thought, what if I was being held
prisoner by that voice? What if there were other hostiles about? Were there
others sleeping in the room with me? I wouldn't want to alarm them. Why was
I afraid? Why did I immediately assume I was in some sort of danger? Because
it feels that way, that's why. I'm trusting my instinct on this one. What if
. . . what was that!? I stared straight ahead into the darkness. There was something
about two feet tall standing right next to the bed! I could almost make it out
in my peripheral vision. Without showing any outward sign that I'd seen the
thing, I kept staring straight ahead into the darkness. I didn't even want to
blink my eyes. I couldn't bring myself to look in it's direction. I didn't want
the thing to know I'd seen it. What'll I do now?!
Wait a minute, this is crazy! It couldn't be. It's just my vivid imagination.
No, there it was again! I heard it! It made a sound - that sound - and it was
right next to my bed. This was the source of that garbled noise I'd heard. This
time it only made a tiny little sound but it was the same sound. And now it
knows that I know it's there. I still don't look but I can sense it in my peripheral
vision. Waiting there, gleeful in my paralyzing fear, it's ugly head just above
the height of the mattress. It's laughing at me! I'm paralyzed and that's what
scares me. I can't even take a swipe at it. This is too weird to be a dream
- it's too real!
I was concentrating hard on picking that thing out of the darkness in my peripheral
vision, when I'd finally had enough. I thought to myself, the way to overcome
your fear is to face it. Maybe if I turn my head and face the critter the spell
would be broken. So, I quickly turned my head and look right where it should've
been. It wasn't there. Nothing. I had a good chuckle at myself. What a relief!
I felt silly for being so afraid. I closed my eyes and turning my head forward
again, laughed at myself. Now I could just go back to sleep and tell my friends
about this weird dream. Then I heard that garbled laughter again. My eyes exploded
open. There it was! On my chest! Squatting up there looking down at me laughing
and pointing a long crooked finger at me. Then I felt the weight of it. It was
just a little thing, about two feet tall, kind of skinny with, what appeared
in the darkness to be, wrinkled black skin. It seemed way too heavy for its
size. The thing laughed. It seemed to be getting heavier - yes, I'm sure of
it now. I was increasing in weight, slowly but surely. It was getting harder
to breathe. The thing laughed harder. I could only take short, hard-fought breaths
now. There was no defensive tactic I could think of. I felt hot and panicky.
The creature laughed even harder, holding its sides and pointing at me. It seemed
to be thoroughly enjoying my suffering. I was fighting for every breath now.
I couldn't get enough air now to call out for help. Not even enough for a pleaful
cry to this thing crushing the wind out of me. I knew at that moment, the desperation
of a drowning man. Hot fire shot through my jugular. Again, I heard the backward
laughter of that demonic dwarf. There was a sizzling sound in my ears that always
precedes unconsciousness. The loud, distant, metallic banging sound of my heart
pounding in my ears. Slower and slower . . . hysterical laughter . . . distant
choking . . . my face feels fat . . . tunnel vision . . . slower pounding .
. . my eyes want to burst . . . heart bangs slower . . . slower . . . a hissing
sound . . . laughing . . . darkness.
Way Out West © 1993 Martin Scherer. Venus & Mars © 1995 Martin Scherer. E-mail: mscherer@tesserak.net