I say it's high time we did something about handicapped access to our
freeways. We have the Slow-Lane, the Passing-Lane and the Car-Pool-Lane.
I say it's time we added an Idiot-Lane. I think the tax-paying commuters
will back me on this one. A nice wide lane with those cement barricades
on either side of it. I haven't figured out a way to keep the idiots from
stopping at the end of an on-ramp yet. Once they're on the highway though,
we're relatively safe from them. Just think, a lane all to their own where
the cognitively-impaired can read or put on make-up while they drive. Where
they can drive too slow all day long with a dog on their lap and their turn
signals on while they play with the kids in the back seat. A place for those
special people who drive around with almost-flat tires and their jacket,
skirt, or one half of their seatbelt hanging out of the bottom of their
car door while they tailgate the car in front of them with their high-beams
on. They could be issued special license plates and confined to the `Tard-Lane.
The great thing about this thing is; there are no off-ramps! That's right,
they can get on the Idiot-Lane but they can't get off. Maybe they should
also get a ticket for being too stupid, even while driving in the Idiot-Lane.
Sooner or latter we'll all be driving where the idiots are not driving.
Unless of course we make more.
Way Out West © 1993 Martin Scherer. E-mail: mscherer@tesserak.net